I want to call off my wedding because my fiancé wants his female best friend there but I should come first

PLANNING a wedding can be stressful and if you start getting cold feet, that can make matters even worse.

And one lady in particular is experiencing this. 

The woman, who is anonymous, shared her concerns and asked for advice on whether she should be doubting her thoughts or not. 

She has explained that she told her fiance that unless uninvited his female best friend the wedding is off. 

Taking to Reddit, she wrote: “My fiancé has had a female best friend since childhood. 

“I'm not the person who gets jealous over my partner being friends with the opposite gender. “What bothers me here is not the gender of the friend, but whether or not they're able to respect boundaries.

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"His female best friend, Rachel, has always been in competition with me regarding who's more important and a bigger priority to my fiancé.”

She explains from the beginning her fiance failed to stand up to her. 

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She continued: “But after a small break, he realised the importance of boundaries, and set hard boundaries with her. 

“I know that whenever she sees me or hears about me, she's not happy, but we act kind to each other despite our actual feelings.”

The social media user explains that when her fiancé proposed to her, his friend Rachel didn’t congratulate them.  

She said: “Completely overlooked our entire engagement, and kept referring to me as my fiancé's 'girlfriend.' 

“My fiancé kept correcting her each time, even telling her how she's not funny or quirky doing this; she's just disrespectful. After a certain point, she stopped.

I know that whenever she sees me or hears about me, she's not happy, but we act kind to each other despite our actual feelings

"Now that we are planning our wedding, we picked out our groomsmen and bridesmaids.”

Her fiancé asked his female friend as one of his groomsmen, and after he asked her to join that role, she texted her a paragraph.  

She said: "To sum it up, it said: 'Just so you know, your fiancé and I are still each other's priority. 

“You may marry him, have kids with him, [and] share a house with him, but right now, he picked me as a groomswoman knowing how that would bother you. 

“He cares about not hurting my feelings more than your feelings. 

“You can't easily ruin friendships like that. Just stay in your lane and accept your place. 

“You might be his wife, but I'm his best friend, and I'm not going anywhere. Make peace with it and who knows, soon enough we might get along.’

"I showed my fiancé. He said he'll deal with her and I shouldn't worry. I told him I've had enough and that the only solution I'm accepting is proper consequences for her actions. 

“That means she's either dropped as a groomswoman or uninvited. I'm tired of his best friend not having real consequences for her actions and getting her way. 

“I won't trust him enough to proceed with our wedding if he doesn't set clear limits and make his friend face the consequences of her behaviour. 

I won't trust him enough to proceed with our wedding if he doesn't set clear limits and make his friend face the consequences of her behaviour

“He said what I'm doing is very unfair because he is not responsible for her actions and feels like I'm putting unnecessary responsibility and pressure on him."

Many people rushed to the comment section to share their views. 

One wrote: “Geez. I was preparing to vote that you're the asshole, and then I got to the text message. 

“This woman is actively trying to sow discord in your relationship. It bothers me that your fiancé isn’t more bothered by the contents of this message and how utterly disrespectful she is of his fiancé."

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And someone else added: “If someone had sent something half as bad as that to my husband, I would let them know they were, for all intents and purposes, dead to me. 

“I would not marry this man unless he takes appropriate action."

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