Couple come up with an 'intimacy menu' to keep the flame alive

I’ll have what they’re having! Couple reveal how they keep their marriage ‘spicy’ with an ‘intimacy menu’ – which includes foot massages, role play, and shower sex

  • Sheri, 54, and Derek Green, 55, came up with raunchy menu to keep flame alive
  • Calabasas couple always have sex three times a week, on top of ‘appetisers’
  • Say menu helps them remaining satisfy in relationship without feeling rejected

Meet the couple who keep their relationship ‘spicy’ with an ‘intimacy menu’ to pick and choose from – and make sure to have sex at least three times a week.

When Sheri Green, 54, and her husband, Derek, 55, from Calabasas, California, welcomed their daughter Tori in 1994 they struggled with the change in their lifestyle and often found themselves arguing about the other feeling neglected.

To ensure the spice in their marriage stayed alive, they created a ‘raunchy menu’ which they use three times a week to stay intimate.

Options on the ‘menu’ which the couple ‘choose’ from includes foot massages, quickie sex and oral under the ‘appetizer’ section.

Sheri Green, 54, and her husband, Derek, 55, from Calabasas, California, say they keep their 34-year strong relationship healthy by creating a ‘raunchy menu’

The couple, pictured, came up with the menu after their daughter, who is now 28, was born, and say it helped their relationship 

Sheri explained how the decision was made to have a ‘menu’ after they welcomed their daughter.  

‘The intimacy menu was born from there,’ Sheri said.

‘It’s there to make sure neither of us feel neglected – even if one is not in the mood or tired, something else can be offered from the menu.’

Sheri, a relationship and lifestyle coach, said: ‘We started to feel rejected if one of us wanted intimacy but the other one didn’t so we created the intimacy menu.

Sheri, a lifestyle coach and yoga enthusiast, said the couple began to feel rejected when the other didn’t want to have sex with them , so came up with the menu 

The couple, who love to go for walks on the beach or hikes together, include all sorts of activities on their menu to keep the flame alive

‘We’ll offer something off the menu, even if it’s the promise of it being in four hours time.

‘Derek often likes to watch action movies that I’m not into, so as a compromise he’ll often massage my feet while we watch. That’s my sweet spot.

‘Life is going to happen so you have to be prepared to take the relationship through everything that happens.’

For Sheri this could be having a massage or even Derek doing the dishes.

‘I think when your sex life is good it’s 10 percent of the reason that makes a relationship thrive,’ Sheri said.

Sheri and Derek have been together for 34 years and credit the menu for strengthening their relationship after the birth of their daughter 

‘But if the sex is bad then it’s 90 percent of why the relationship is not thriving.

Example of Sheri and Derek’s intimacy menu  


Foot massage

Quickie sex (10 mins)


Main course 

Lots of foreplay (massage/oral) + sex

Full body massage + sex

Shower + oral + sex (intercourse)


Quickie in a room of choice (not bedroom)

Fantasy of the moment (role play)

Additional (4th) day of choice for quickie

’34 years is a long time to be together but we keep things spicy and try new things to keep it fresh.’

They make sure to always have sex on a Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday and prioritise their relationship over everything else.

Even when the pair are busy, they tease each other with what is to come by talking about what they want to do when they have time and are always complimenting each other.

They believe it’s important to keep things fresh to stop you turning into just ‘roommates’.

Sheri said: ‘You don’t want to turn into roommates or business partners.’

‘We make out relationship a priority everyday,’ Derek added.

‘We’ll set our alarm a bit early for a morning snuggle or if we’re up to it the night before we’ll set it half an hour early so we can have a morning sex session.

‘I’ll always smile at Sheri in the morning or tell her she looks beautiful.’

‘It still feels like we’re dating,’ Sheri said.

‘I’m excited to spend time with Derek still.

Derek, who is also a relationship and lifestyle coach, said: ‘Life is busy so we make sure to have some sexy appetizers and make time for intimacy.

‘We have a bit of a pre-menu too by letting each other know that we’d love to get down and dirty when we get a chance.

‘Telling each other “I want you” gives me butterflies.

‘Our menu is like a living breathing third person in the relationship.

‘We’re always changing it up and keeping it interesting and fresh.’

I’ll have what they’re having! The couple, who are also foodies, say communication is at the heart of their successful love story 

Derek doing the dishes is amongst the appetisers that are likely to make it on the couple’s sexy menu

Sex is not the only thing that keeps the couple going. But Sheri said it accounts for 10 per cent of their success and long-lasting relationship

Sheri and Derek say couples don’t always have to be trying something new in the bedroom to keep things fresh.

‘It might just be a new activity to do together,’ Derek said.

‘In a relationship each partner has to own part of it and each give and take a little.’

Derek and Sheri are not afraid to say they have a great sex life.

‘Life is busy so we always try to have sex on a Wednesday evening, and Saturday and Sunday morning,’ Sheri said.

As well as cooking together, the couple have sex three times a week, on Wednesdays, Saturday and Sunday morning 

Sheri and Derek at home with their dogs. The couple said they liked to bring something new into the bedroom to keep things fun 

The couple said they communicate about everything to make sure they are aware of each other’s wants and needs 

‘We’re thinking of adding another day. But we make each other feel loved throughout every day.

‘We communicate everything so we know each others wants and needs.

‘A relationship ends when someone stops auditioning for the role.’

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