‘I married two murderers because non-prisoners are boring to date
This Morning guest explains why she prefers dating prisoners
Teresa Roberts appeared on ITV’s This Morning to explain her reasons behind marrying convicted murderers. Teresa, who lives in Seattle, revealed she has married three prisoners and confessed that dating non-prisoners is “boring”.
Presenter Rochelle Humes asked Teresa “Where did this all begin” and she explained how she had a brother who was in prison, and she used to visit him.
“While I was there I saw someone that was attractive, and I made an off-the-cuff comment that he was attractive and I got a letter in the mail asking if I wanted to be his pen pal, and soon thereafter we fell in love,” she added.
Her relationship moved from being pen pals to the outside when her husband was released from prison, but it “didn’t last very long” and Teresa “went back to dating non-prisoners” which she said “was boring”.
She said: “When I started dating people on the outside, they were either distracted or they expected something after the date. It was very frustrating, so I went back to writing to pen pals.”
As for how pen pals in America works, Teresa explained she visited a “couple of websites for pen pals” which she said were “like a dating site” and was able to specify who she wanted to write to via “age, ethnicity, etc”.
She had specific criteria for her pen pal: “I wanted to find somebody who was far away so I wouldn’t be tempted to visit him, and somebody who was locked up for a long time and wouldn’t get out and break my heart as the last person did.
“And someone who was not terribly hideous, but also not great-looking so I wouldn’t fall in love with him.
“So I was trying to protect myself and not fall in love with the person”, like she had done with “Xander in 2006, Chuck in 2013, and Nick in 2016”.
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Phillip Schofield wanted to know why Teresa married the prisoners when she had strict criteria in place to not fall in love.
“You can write to them, visit them and be friends,” he added. “I presume you can’t be intimate because you’re not going to be left alone?”
Teresa said: “Correct. I think with Xander is that we could get married. When someone’s in prison, they can’t do so many things, but we could get married, so when you can do something you do it.
“There is also an attraction for someone in prison to be married – it makes them feel loved and wanted, so it means a lot to them.”
“You talked about your criteria and one is you want them to be locked away for a long time, does that not raise a red flag?” Rochelle wondered. “If they’re locked away for a long time, the crime they’ve committed must be bad, and that makes them not a suitable candidate for marriage?”
“I think there’s a lot of factors involved,” Teresa replied. “Xander was convicted of murder but he was an accomplice, he did not commit the murder, he was at the wrong place at the wrong time.
“I did my due diligence and looked at police reports and records and learnt about his story, so he really wouldn’t hurt a fly. He was young and in with the wrong crowd.”
As for what Teresa “gets out of it for her life”, she said she is “independent” and “doesn’t need a constant person around [her], or companionship”.
“When you have a relationship with an inmate, you have dedicated attention with each other that you don’t get [in the real world]. When you go to visit them in prison, there’s no distractions, you’re not talking to them while doing dishes or cooking.
“You’re talking to them, holding their hand, sitting for six hours looking at them and it’s an amazing dedicated conversation.”
As for how Teresa’s family and friends feel towards her choice of dating, she said: “They think I’m nuts.
“They met Xander – I was married for 14 years to my first husband who was not in prison, and the second, third and fourth husbands were in prison. But they know the frustration [I have] of dating outside.”
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