I want to try sex but the sound of it makes me shake with fear

DEAR DEIDRE: THE sound of people having sex makes me physically shake with fear.

I’m 32 now and have never had intercourse although a man tried to rape me when I was 20. I was waiting at the bus stop one evening when this man approached me.

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I managed to fight him off but the experience has affected me. I wouldn’t go to the police as this man has a bad reputation and I knew he would make my life hell.

Now, I never get a bus at night and haven’t been able to have a sexual relationship, even though I do have a new boyfriend.

My housemate recently got a new girlfriend and they are at it all hours. I sometimes wake up to the sound of them having sex and have to decamp to the lounge.

The only thing that calms me down is playing music through my headphones. How can I get over this fear? I would like to try sex.

DEIDRE SAYS: This awful experience has ruled your life for so long, but you can move forward with the right support.

Please contact Rape Crisis (rapecrisis.org.uk Helpline 0808 802 9999), who will understand how deeply you were affected, even though this happened some time ago.

Some counselling will also help you to process this trauma and the BACP (bacp.co.uk, 01455 883300) can help connect you to qualified counsellors local to you.

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