I'm a life coach – this is why date emotionally unavailable people

I’m a life coach and this is why you can’t stop dating people who are emotionally unavailable – here’s how to break the cycle

  • Matthew Hussey, from Essex shared the advice to his 2.9 million TikTok followers 
  • READ MORE: Dating coach reveals 5 things people do that make them super attractive to others

A life coach has detailed how you can stop yourself from chasing the ‘euphoric’ but unstable rush of falling for people who are emotionally unavailable.  

Matthew Hussey, from Essex, said that who you are attracted to essentially boils down to what you value the most in a relationship – peace or excitement.    

He told his 2.9 million TikTok followers: ‘There’s an intensity to chasing someone that feels unavailable.

‘Then there’s the feeling you get when they give you a little bit of attention, it feels like a rush.’

The life coach explained that although this sensation may feel ‘euphoric’ and like a ‘huge release’, it is ‘not a normal feeling’ you should be having in a stable partnership.

Matthew Hussey revealed to his following of 2.9 million on TikTok, that the key to a stable relationship was prioritising peace over excitement

He told his viewers that if they pursue these intense feelings in emotionally distant partners, then they will never experience a sense of peace or stability.

He continued: ‘Where it’s push/pull all the time, there’s no sense of just, “Oh there’s a peace to this”. Peace doesn’t necessarily feel exciting.’

The YouTube personality elaborated that the relationships you end up in depend on what you value most in your life. 

If you are charmed by the never-ending games involved in engaging with the emotionally unavailable, you are destined to be attracted to relationships that lack stability, according to the life coach. 

The life coach explained that if you continue to pursue emotionally unavailable you will keep chasing those constant highs in emotionally unavailable people rather than finding joy in peace and stability

People flocked to the comments to thank the life coach for his advice, with one person writing: ‘I needed to hear this.’

Another continued: ‘So glad you are on TikTok. Your YouTube helped me during the lowest moment in my life. God bless you.’ 

One user shared their own experience, stating: ‘Even in a healthy relationship I find someone unavailable and develop a crush on them. 

‘It is absurd but I feel I need the excitement I get when I see them.’

Another shared: ‘I’m in my first normal relationship and it’s so peaceful it scares me even though I see it’s real.’

One person wrote: ‘I never knew why I felt uneasy when things were simply ok in my relationship.

‘I would get worried and anxious because something hadn’t happened.’

However, certain viewers were left perplexed on how to stop being drawn to the feeling of euphoria, commenting: ‘So how do you NOT become attracted to excitement? We can’t help what excites us?’

This comes after a UK dating coach shared the red flags you should never ignore during the early stages of dating.

Jacob Lucas is a UK-based coach who says he has ‘helped millions of people get the love life they have always wanted’. 

People flocked to the comments to thank the YouTube personality for his advice, with many sharing their own experiences

In a recent video, he revealed five things your love interest may do on, that are red flags.

Among them, were trying to garner sympathy, and talking badly about their previous partner early on in your courtship.

Explaining why you should be alarmed if the person you are dating is badmouthing their previous partner because it shows they are ’emotionally unaware’.

Jacob elaborated: ‘It’s a red flag if he calls his ex crazy, blames them for everything, or overshares their relationship with you when he’s only just met you.

‘It shows that he’s socially unaware because he should know that you don’t want to talk about his ex when you just met him.’

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