Im cheating on my girlfriend and now cant have sex – guilt makes me floppy
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I can’t perform in my own bed because I’m a cheat with a guilty conscience.
My partner is climbing the walls with sexual frustration. She’s begging me to pleasure her and make her scream but how can I when I loathe myself.
Not only am I sleeping with someone else – an ex-colleague – but I’m messing about with a female client too. I also use hook- up apps when I’m feeling horny.
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All of the women in my life think I’m a decent bloke but I can’t stop telling lies. I promise money, security, and a decent future to every female I meet.
My ex-colleague and I worked together years ago. She remembers me as a decent, principled guy but I’m not that person anymore – I’m selfish and cruel.
My client is paying me a lot of money to fix up her house. She thinks we’re going to be together forever but I’m just cynically using her for kicks. Even my casual hook-ups assume I’m single and solvent. My life is a complicated mess and I hate what I’ve become.
My partner deserves someone so much better than me. She’s gentle and kind and has stuck by me during some tough times involving health, work and insolvency. I desperately want to satisfy her but I can’t.
My brain is willing but my body refuses to rise to the occasion. More than once she’s thrown a pack of little blue pills at me.
I’m worried about sullying her wonderful body when she’s never done anything but love and support me. Sometimes I deliberately start rows at bedtime just so she will storm off to the spare room.
JANE SAYS: You can’t continue to torment and torture your partner in this way. She doesn’t know what’s going on and is going out of her mind with frustration. You have to stop messing around and start telling her the truth.
Explain you are not the person she needs you to be. Be honest about your other lovers and your addiction to hook-up apps. At the moment you’re not being fair. Do the decent thing and come clean before she finds out the truth and is left humiliated and heartbroken.
Many long-term relationships fizzle out after a while. We grow up, crave fresh experiences or simply go off the rails. What you cannot continue to do is leave your girl in limbo.
She deserves a good man and a satisfying sex life and if you don’t feel that you can deliver, she has to know.
The same goes for the other women you’re stringing along. How do you expect to look yourself in the mirror and get your self-worth back when you’re selfishly spinning so many plates?
Unless you face your demons and do the right thing, then 2023 is going to be a total disaster – for a lot of innocent people.
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