My Hinge match ghosted me before we even met

My Hinge match ghosted me before we even met because I said I didn’t want to have sex on the first date – I cried in my makeup and the dress I was so excited to wear

  • An anonymous user took to Reddit to describe how she was stood up by her date
  • She told her date on Hinge that she didn’t want to hook up and he ghosted her 
  • READ: My fiancé bought a cheap engagement ring but I know he can afford more

A woman was left devastated when a man stood her up because she told him she didn’t want to hook up on a first date.

The anonymous user, believed to be from the US, took to Reddit to explain that she had found a good connection with someone on the dating app Hinge and organised to go on a date with him – the first since her recent breakup.

But she revealed that her date ghosted her messages and failed to show up after she responded to his innuendo by saying they should wait before getting intimate.

Online users flooded into the comments section to offer the poster their support, saying she should feel ‘proud’ for standing by her boundaries.

The woman posted: ‘I recently got on Hinge after coming out of a three year relationship. 

An anonymous woman described on Reddit how a man stood her up because she said she didn’t want to hook up with him (stock image used)

‘I met a guy with whom I had a really good connection, and after talking for a few weeks, we made plans to meet. 

‘I was really excited; this was my first date since my breakup. I got all dolled up and wore my favorite dress for the first time in a while.

‘About 30 minutes before our date, he texted that he was about to be on his way. 

‘He then made an innuendo and because I really value clear communication, I used this to clarify that I wasn’t looking to hook up on the first date and that we should get to know each other more before we do anything physical.

‘He stopped replying. Immediately. No texts after that, no replies to my subsequent texts asking if he were on his way, no answer when I asked him if our date was cancelled. 

She explained that this was the first date since her recent breakup and she was ‘a little fragile’

‘He didn’t even bother coming up with a last minute excuse to save face.

‘I cried in my makeup and the dress I was so excited to wear. This was the first time I’ve ever tried to date online. 

‘Admittedly, my heart was still a little fragile after my breakup. Still, I’ve never had anyone be this blatant about how they wanted to use me.’

People rushed to the comments to praise the user for speaking out and to tell her she had a lucky escape.

One commented: ‘Something like this will most likely happen again. Welcome to the dating apps, they’re horrible.

‘But guys like this are a blessing in disguise. He saved you from wasting a night sitting with him and then having him awkwardly come on to you and possibly making you feel unsafe or even attempting to do something without your consent.’

Reddit users took to the comments to praise the poster for standing by her boundaries and tell her she had a lucky escape

Another warned her saying: ‘Better not to meet him at all then meet him and say, you really like him, and he starts playing that game that those ones do and really hurts you.’ 

One user wrote that she wished she had been more like the poster when she was younger, saying: ‘I know this feels awful but what happened was that you successfully set your boundary and this guy dipped out because he wasn’t interested in respecting that boundary.

‘But what happened here is that you stood up for yourself and protected yourself. That’s not always easy as a young woman so you should feel proud.’

One simply said: ‘I’d mark that one down under bullet dodged and move on.’ 

Another said: ‘I read so many heartbreaking post a day precisely because this doesn’t happen. 

‘You may not see it right now, but what you did for yourself is better than any date or relationship. 

‘You saved yourself from wasting time, and maybe even a more upsetting situation. You’re a rockstar! I hope you see this soon.’

The original poster replied: ‘I’m going to keep setting firm boundaries but will probably do that earlier on so I don’t invest as much time and heart into talking to them.’

Some comments said that the man had respected the poster’s boundaries by not turning up for the date

Meanwhile, some users commented that in not showing up, the man had respected the poster’s boundaries.

One user commented: ‘She said no and he obliged by not even showing up.’

Another wrote: ‘I think it’s important to be clear when discussing what respecting boundaries means.

‘[The poster] has a boundary that she won’t be intimate on the first date. She communicated it clearly, and that guy did in fact respect that boundary. 

‘If he hadn’t respected it, then he would have gone forward with the date and tried to pressure, coerce, or force her later on.’

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